bed peace

I sleep with my titties out

On sheets I haven’t washed in weeks

That surprisingly don’t smell like farts and hair grease

But more like sweet musk and old wine

Next to unfolded laundry

With my makeup on bc I want to be prepared for my dreamy encounters

An empty bowl that was once filled with Frosted Flakes

Next to another bowl that needs repacking

Next to the earrings I sleepily yanked out 3 nights ago

The only thing that ties me to this bed is rest

Resting in me

In this woman I’ve become and continually becoming

No ones there to make it difficult to get out of bed

No ones there to assume I want in

This space can never get played out

That same song from yesterday still on repeat

Because why not

No shame or distraction to keep me from staring at myself in the mirror for hours

I adore her

What ignites her to move like that

What makes her think like that

I want to share her

but this is too raw

I’m not even ready for my surprises

And I want my surprises to actually surprise me

They are mine

And they’re always epic

So moments like this I don’t want to share

So I’m sorry if I’m dry

If I’m distant

If I seem uninterested

I’m just more into myself, than I am into you

More into myself than I could ever be into you

And when I’m old and tired of myself, I’ll still be more into myself than I would ever be into you

I could learn you and find the exceptional parts and they still would be nothing in comparison to

my worst parts

This kind of self love is un heard of

So deep, I can get a little tipsy at times

Drunk in love with myself

And the hangovers leave me lost in thought for weeks

Profounded by my realities

My truths

My magic

There’s no one more beautiful

No one more cool

It’s like encountering an alien, the same one

Over and over again

It’s freaking weird

But there’s no where else I’d rather be than this messy bed

Makeup stained sheets, crumbs and all

I have no intention on changing these sheets

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